Adult relationships guides and childhood trauma influence? Criticism can be helpful in the right time and in the right place, but what we need even more than criticism is love and respect. Escaping the shackles of a judgmental or ridiculing parent starts with loving yourself radically and unashamedly. The most explosive rebellion you can engage in, when it comes to dealing with poor caretakers, is owning your right to respect and self-love in every single aspect of your life. Do this by writing a new narrative for yourself. Lean into your boundaries and stop looking toward the guidance of those that would hurt you for their own personal fulfillment or gain. We are the masters of our own destinies, but that can be hard to see when you have a mountain of childhood pain resting behind you. Let go of the darker influences in your past, and lean into embracing the destiny you want for yourself and the chosen family you’re building.
Ludus is a child-like and flirtatious love commonly found in the beginning stages of a relationship (a.k.a. the honeymoon stage). This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and laughter between two people. Although common in young couples, older couples who strive for this love find a more rewarding relationship. Your emotions allow you to feel giddy, excited, interested and involved with another person. Mania is an obsessive love towards a partner. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness — known as codependency. Most cases of obsessive love are found in couples with an imbalance of love towards each other. An imbalance of Eros and Ludus is the main cause of Mania. With healthy levels of playful and romantic love, the harm of obsessive love can be avoided.
Set boundaries for your child. Setting rules—and consistently following through with consequences if they are broken—is an important aspect of building trust between you and your child. Talk to your child about the reasons behind rules so they know why rules exist and what you consider proper behavior. Your child might test those limits, but if you are consistent with logical consequences, and remind them about the reasons behind the rule, they might think twice about breaking that rule the next time.
According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. Find even more details at where abandonment issues come from.
As adults we often forget about how impressionable children’s minds can be. They are always watching, replicating, and learning from those around them. In fact, according to Healthline Parenthood, the most crucial milestones in a kid’s life occur by the age of 7. Creating a safe space for a child’s development is as important as providing them food and shelter. When it comes to trauma, there are many different types that can occur. Whether it is physical, sexual, or mental abuse, a prolonged severe illness, witnessing domestic violence, or experiencing intensive bullying, individuals process these events in different ways. As adults, these situations can be difficult to handle but as children, not only is trauma difficult to handle it is hard for children to process.