Divorce is a very complex situation and nobody should get through it alone. Divorce community Don’t post on social media it about. During my time of divorce, I wanted to defend my name against assumptions people made as they saw things that were happening to my ex-husband. Instead, I just stayed quiet. I knew that one day my name would be vindicated, and I didn’t want to look insane during the divorce process by venting my dirty laundry on social media.

If you have debt in your name, like credit cards or student loans, you will want to pay those debts down as much as possible before a divorce. Most American families spend close to their entire income, if not more, and when one household becomes two, there is often not enough money to pay the both sets of expenses unless something changes. You may have to cut down disposable purchases, sell your car and get a less expensive model, or maybe sell the house. If your spouse does not voluntarily support you and the children, your remedy is to ask the Court to order support. You will not have a good prediction of any of this and you will not know the answers for sure until the agreement is signed or the judge makes a ruling. But, the point is to think about it and identify problems and possible solutions. Then take the actions that you can take and avoid missteps.

Allow time to fully heal and reconnect with yourself before entering another relationship of any kind. The process of divorce is emotionally grueling. There is a lot to sift through and heal from. This is not the time to look to soothe oneself by entering another relationship. People make this mistake all the time. I personally went into a rebound relationship with someone who was sadder than I (like truly attracts like). It devastated me when it ended because I sought happiness and fulfillment outside of myself. This only leads to the same pattern to happen again. Learning this hard lesson pushed me forward and transformed me. I have a totally different mindset toward unconditional love and relationships now and I share this with my clients all the time.

The biggest mistake divorcing spouses can make is being in the dark about finances. If your spouse has always handled all of the financial decisions in your household and you don’t have any information about you and your spouse’s income and assets, your spouse will have an unfair advantage over you when it comes time to settle the financial issues in your divorce. If you suspect your spouse is planning a divorce, get as much information as you can now. Make copies of important financial records such as account statements (eg., savings, brokerage, and retirement) and all other data that relates to your marital lifestyle (eg., checking accounts, charge card statements, tax returns).

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